Making Relationships

It appears that – Elizabeth Gilbert – who wrote  “Eat Love and Pray” – has reached a level of awareness, which I’ve often written about for years.  and that is.. Life is simple  and is comrpised of sharing. Not one persone trying to expect, pressure and remold another to fit ‘only their dream, as if the only thing  of matter, is their dream.  Relationships, in reality, is the sharing of ‘two dreams”,  interactively so.

Her new venture to discuss “Committed” –  I would hope, addresses and touches on the reality factors of people. in the everday reality of what  a relationship is, above what one person’s  selfish interst are. and talk about the real growth as two individuals,

Hopefully it explores many points, to know, a mate is not just someone, desinged to play a role in one persons dream,   “for her to achieve “her” dream, at the expense of the person she calls a mate.  but to explore how two people relate to be a part in a Shared Dream. Maybe, just Maybe, as she said..   “She determined that, “she had been asking too much of the institution of relationships, in her case assuming  “marriage”..  is all about what she thinks it is, and not embracintg what it means to the mate.

( shocker huh’)… to find out, that it’s not all about “you’, it’s all about what works for “two”.. If she pursue this angle, then she may achieve to present something, if she does not, Then not only has the learning not been with the full circle depth; but it may delude others, to find misery, rather than ways to improve their communications within relating.

I don’t know.. what she wrote in her new book,, but from the brief’s – I’d hope that she is opening new ground, to let not just hereself but many women know.. its not just about her, its about ‘ the man who is within it , equally so.  ” That makes for a  ‘Relationship”

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Volume One

“Learning how to live while Sharing” –  “Learning how to share, while Living”

Vs

Fairy Tales, and Romanticized Stage Play and fictional moving picture productions

The delusion teaching within our world, that has led many to throw love away... shall there be growth beyond it… ?
Its unfortunate that so much from the ranks of Shakespearian melodrama or exercises in romantic stage setting, influenced a world to live pursuing a “fairy tale delusion’ based on a play writers, escapades to dramatize and hyper exaggerate loves interactions. And the result is: A world of people making themselves miserable- trying to measure love by these illusions which were crafted for stage plays.  It even processed into confusing general human kindeness in life – with these illusions of the delusion of Lady and Gentleman, based on  the European melodrama, from King and Queen and their royal courts as to how it was crafted for  literary depictions, to Knights and distressed Princesses, which for centuries, these illusion  has deluded people, and misled many. where even men and woman, can’t be simply men and woman- they are contorted into pretentious captions of “Lady and Gentlemen. containments.  They result generally is, they never get to know who they are unto each other, and sometimes, not even unto themselves, for trying to contain their presentation image to fit this, “crafted imagery concept” of lady / gentleman.   Sadly, people persecute each other behind it. and then act shocked when reality continues to present the realism, that  a male is simply found to be a man, and a female is found to be simply a woman.
Even to play “control games with each other” by invoking this ” you are not a lady, if you don’t do this, and you are not a gentleman, if you don’t do this or that.  What a disaster of a “toll it has taken on individual’, it became used for the manipulations of each other, and surrounded in and within selfish expectations of every imaginable sort.

Basic human kindness is what is “generic’. if we aspire to the basic generic’s of “being kind, being considerate, being with efforts to understand and with efforts to be understanding, and make use of our ability to reason and rationalize, we may then learn to simply appreciate each other as. Individuals.

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People following these scripts .. Which became even more deluded with mental captions, people tried to created based on even things such as  Harlequin Romance Novels, when people become unappreciative of their own real life romanticism, with delusions of wanting to live the dime store novellas depictions, unfortunately;  Over the ages,it became more obsessive  as time  lead into the mass media of moving pictures, depicting “staged imagery” – and we as a society of human beings. Became deluded  trying too hard to emulate our lives to fit within the staged depictions, and creafted illusions, of media productions script’s.
Suddenly, no one is happy about anything, and people lost the ability to respect ” the need to reason and rationalize, they lost the ability to appreciate the simple things, and sadly people lost the ability to appreciate the individualism of each other.
Dinner became a “pre-conceived staged event”.. Complete with candles, as if to try and re-capture some folklore tale of people sharing love.
Yet, people never stopped to think, back in the days the tales were set. They simply did not have electricity. And the likewise same, is relative to “cuddling up in front of the fireplaces”..  Well truth is. Back then, people did not have “central heating“.
But many have found their relationships crumble.. With their dire self measurements of each other, about “script playing” trying to re-create some mental imagery of a folklore tale.   Sadly.. it became so incessantly invasive. People forgot how to “simply appreciate each other”.. people forgot how to simply “enjoy and respectfully appreciate the general nature of loving”.. And it all became measured against, these “script playing” imaginary roles, people conjure in their head. And then get upset because reality is far more intricate and far less with the flawless illusion people paint in their minds.

Truth and life.. Is simply. Some days people are not even satisfied with things of themselves, and surely they are not going to be satisfied with everything of someone else.  So why put the delusion and make it a pressure upon self and another.  to craft these picture, and think another is suppose to read your mind and play their role, just as “you” imagined it.  And when they don’t, you react on them, with some selfish attitude of dis-satisfaction.

If people want that re-creation as the basis of their relationship:
[ Wouldn’t it be better just to go out and buy costumes, and write a script and give it to your mate, and give them time to learn the lines, and set up some automated cue system.  Or go out and “hire a stage play director”. to direct your ‘nightly dinner’, or to “direct your evening in watching a movie in the den with the fireplace on’. ]

Today people have every kind of ‘convenience’, they have set up and make their home look like ‘movie sets’, staged and designed to capture an image they crafted from a Televised depiction.
Then they expect their mate to “read their mind” and make it happen as they day dreamed it.

some try and live like a Soap Opera, but what they fail to grasp, is these are  line delivery of script, set to a cue, and directed and it takes 100’s of people to get a five minute scene to paint the illusion.

People never stop to see the over-view.  People don’t work in these Soap Opera’s, but they wear designer clothes, and professional make up,  the house is perfectly maintained, they don’t wash clothes or cook, nor do they clean and do anything which is part of “real life and living”, and the theme is the same for the past 50 years.  Take someones mate, play jealousy games, play envy games, rob someone, plot against someone, and then assume, being dressed and made up, is suppose to make sexual relations something beyond what is natural. and these scrip characters, become what people make “cariciture of their own lives, trying to emulate.

Society has watched so much television, some marry wealth, and just as television depicted, they think it means, go shopping and sit and sip tea, and then sit around and devise plots, of manipulative manners, all designed to “get their ego stroked and pursue being patronized with phony subservience”..   and we have a world of people, who have tossed real life love, out the window, and locked the doors, to keep out truth.. All for the sake of trying to play and replay these scripted melodrama..   and people who are wealthy, with every means in material acquisition, can’t figure out how to simply share appreciating each other.  they get the “design a home” magizine depicted house, and can’t find enough realism, to simply learn to sharing loving as two individual, who continually must learn to appreciate each other. So they fight, they divorce and sell the house, and later .. find out, the illusion chasing, killed the love, “they could have simply shared., by appreciating each other” – rather than chasing imagery illusion, and role playing status pretenses.  They may have learned how to – learn whom each other is as individuals.. by finding the simple things to share, laugh about, and make experienc shared in and within enjoying each others company.

Some even throw the relationship away, claiming the other work too much, when the fact is, working gives them the luxury they enjoy, but they think they can have the luxury without someone going to work.  so while they chase the movie version delusion, of both sitting around the house patching the roof, and with a laundry basket, barking orders at each other, They in turn find out they threw away the opportunity to :  “Learning how to live while Sharing” –  “Learning how to share, while Living”

But they’d rather thow the relationship away, and sit home – then to know they have a mate they can share with even if its not as much time as they want. its better than no time shared at all.   some people can learn a lot from “Truck Drivers” – they travel across the country, but many of them still – maintain  long term relationships.
It may be time in life.. That people realize how life truly is.. Men work, and women work, the kids have task, just as reality of the life in this nation existed when a whole family cared for what makes home and with less fanfare of melodrama. They did their work, shared what they could, and did not measure each other, based on some media depicted imagery. Because there was no television, to teach them how to delude themselves.

Sadly today, Husbands and Wives can’t even share the natural desires of their sensual sexual selves, for trying to “pre stage it to fit some media melodrama, and when it does not, they shut down and turn their relating into a manipulative bargain fest,  where one expects the other to read their mind, as if they have “pre-read a playwright’s script.

Get real people… a bundle of roses wrapped in a shop keepers dress up design work, is a ‘convenience”.. be just as happy if you get a hand full of ‘wild flowers’ picked from the side of the road.. its still a flower and it is nature produced.

If you are invited out to get a cup of coffee, consider it simply as an opportunity to share time and experience.  If your date takes you to McDonalds.. It’s still an outing that simply affords the time to share experiences and time together.

Its so unfortunate people have forgot to appreciate the simplicity of life. We’ve become so lost in the pomp and pageantry, that we go out, many times, over dressed, and concerned about impressions, that quickly, we forget to appreciate the basic realism, of simply “sharing – time and experience”.. is the purpose and function of “A Date”.

When people first meet, they want to go and do things, then they fade into pressuring each other as if they place mental tracking monitors on each other, to the point, they make every kind of mission to pursue  dominance, and then comes “materialism measurements’, until they work themselves into a frenzy, and can’t even appreciate each other as individuals. For badgering each other, about “how to get more material stuff’, or to account for every minute of your life, as if a prison warded needs a report… Yet, no matter how much material stuff they get,  or how many ways they try to track each second of the others’ life,  what results is, by such means, all they come to find out, is how far they have pushed each other away from the other. They even find out how miserable they  may have made themselves, with this “status measurement pursuit’, and trying to be a “time manager of their mate,  until they are not even at peace with themselves.  And think, well if I buy this, it will work magic.. They get even more perturbed when it does not.

Life is far simpler that this madness making that people engages.   The basic’s is ” sharing time and experiences”, team working to create what is beneficial to “both”… it is never just your dream, and the other person as you assume is suppose to fill it.
Nope.. its a life where people use the gifts God gave them, of communicating, using their ability to reason, using your ability to understand, and putting as much effort to be understood, but equally so working to understand. and within life, we find a reasonable compromise that both can live with.

Your relationship is not about, how much the neighbors swoon over it and fawn about it,  It’s simply You and the person you are with, sharing time and experiences.

Working together to meet the obligations you each create.


We find so often, even people who have no massive economic means, to find ways to enjoy the simple things, and then we see people, who have more economic means than they can ever utilize, who can’t even laugh and talk with each other.

Maybe, the book by Melissa Gilbert, will hopefully touch on the simplicity of living and relating, maybe it will touch on the fact, that no one is living to meet another’s’ imagery of role play, as if to live by a script.  And maybe it may touch on ‘enlightening people to consider, that they put undue pressure on their mate, with all the selfish mental captions, they expect each other to meet. when many times they themselves can’t meet their part of their own dreamed illusion.

but it’s probably unlikely, that the book will venture into such truisms, because its a ‘commercial product’, designed to garner a profit for its entertainment value.

Sadly in this climate of today. Two people can’t even go and enjoy a movie, because they are too busy trying to “attach a label” to a simple act of sharing time and experiences.  People are too busy trying to “define a situation of sharing”, as if it has to become to fit some “label”.. Rather than.. Cut the crap.. find a friendly person, and go sit down and watch a movie and talk about life and living, or go do something that can be shared with someone, and enjoy as much of it as one can.. and don’t go home trying to define it and attach a label to the outing.

People are even afraid to go out with another and do stuff, for feat, that  one or the other will try to put a label on it, rather than simply enjoy it as two individuals who chose to share and experiences together.  too often – “other people” – are too quick to try to attach labels to other people, if they see them some place sharing anything.  When truth is, its not even their business.
People might just find out that loving is as simple as living.  Its never any more than what can be shared between people,



its never any more than what can be appreciated between people,

and it is always composed of moments, of challenges to find understandings, and to find means to be understood,

it is always with the need to utilize reasoning ability, to find reasonable compromise that suit to meet the comforts of two people, and not the dictates of one person.

Written by “Me”

Wishing you – means to a workable and enjoyable growing experience through sharing life.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The origin of the below letter is unknown,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn’t have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
Who has given birth to
A premature baby…..

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:

LOSE ONE..

The origin of this letter is unknown,
But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.

Remember…

Hold on tight to the ones you love!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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